Diet Carbs

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

I'm into fitness: Fit'ness whole donut in my mouth. - Unknown

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old. - Peter Gabriel

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? - Bill Murray

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon