#1 humor site on the 'net

Diet Carbs

Mechanics choose specialized diet plans

Diet Carbs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

I find forgiveness to be really healthy. - Ben Affleck

Mine is the least fat diet in the world. - Pierre Dukan

The heart, like the stomach, wants a varied diet. - Gustave Flaubert

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Envy and greed starve on a healthy diet of thanksgiving. - Billy Graham

A fit, healthy body - that is the best fashion statement. - Jess C. Scott

Love is, or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all. - Toni Morrison

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

If you can't tell a spoon from a ladle, then you're fat! - Demetri Martin

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

I believe that how you feel is very important to how you look - that healthy equals beautiful. - Victoria Principal

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

In soap, fatty acids made from boiling pork bone fat are used as a hardening agent, but also for giving it a pearl-like effect. - Christien Meindertsma

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Magnetic Personality

Broken Window Repair

Zamboni Mohawk

Hand Tool

Lane Closure

Chainsaw-Powered 'Dolmette' Super-Motorcycle

Lego Wall Repair

High Tensile Snow

Newborn Canadian

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Drawn To Curiosity

Redneck Cook

Owl Friends

Economy Hit Hard

Baby Sidecar

Useless Fire Extinguishers

Diamond Ring TP

Senior's Paddle Surfboard

Fat to Fit

Jumping The Gun

Owl Rotation

Weakest Part

Wine Secret

Living Inside a Garbage Truck