#1 humor site on the 'net

Diet Carbs

Mechanics choose specialized diet plans

Diet Carbs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Laughter is by definition healthy. - Doris Lessing

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

You know why fish are so thin? They eat fish. - Jerry Seinfeld

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

We don't see many fat men walking on stilts. - Bud Miller

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Why y'all duded up lookin' like Errol Slim? - Archie Bunker

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. - Benjamin Franklin

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

They have gun control in Cuba. They have universal health care in Cuba. So why do they want to come here? - Paul Harvey

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia. - Jimmy Fallon


Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home

Snowbound Train

Smirnoff Women

Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans