#1 humor site on the 'net

Don't Break The Window

We now pause for a break in the spooky music

Don't Break The Window thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
No gold, no Holy Ghost. - Samuel Butler

Ghost Writer: Spooksman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Produce great pumpkins, the pies will follow later. - Unknown

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Only the knife knows what goes on in the heart of a pumpkin. - Simone Schwarz-Bart

There is magic in the night when pumpkins glow by moonlight. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden. - James Herbert

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

Take care of your costume and your confidence will take care of itself. - Amit Kalantri

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In one aspect, yes, I believe in ghosts, but we create them. We haunt ourselves. - Laurie H. Anderson

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

Monsters are real, and ghosts are real, too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I'd rather sit alone on a pumpkin and have it all to myself than be crowded on a velvet cushion. - Henry David Thoreau

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

The pumpkin hearing, "Let's carve and scoop,"
Ran fast as he could, leaving pumpkin poop. - Shirley Thomas

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

It is good for a man to invite his ghosts into his warm interior, out of the wild night, into the firelight, out of the howling dark. - A.S. Byatt

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien


Fly Art

Texas Rain Gauge

Camel Hatchback

Teahouse of the August Moon

Bent Baby

Deluxembourg

Lost Head

Moving Sofa

Florida Golf Hazard

Billionaire Thoughts

Graduation Swag

U.S. Millionaires

How To Save NASA

Computer Travelers

Virtual Air Canada

Jockey Racing

'Pier' Pressure

Canadian Coat Of Arms

On The Eighth Day

Texas Bakery

Moto Lawnmower

Pothole Garden

Alaskan Summer

Canadian Fast Food - Summer