#1 humor site on the 'net

FB Santa

What seniors can expect this Christmas

FB Santa thanks to Chris Kane

FB Santa thanks to Chris Kane

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Gladly accept the gifts of the present hour. - Horace

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. - William Shakespeare

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

My goal was never to make Facebook cool. I am not a cool person. - Mark Zuckerberg

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

Those gifts are ever the most acceptable which the giver has made precious. - Ovid

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

What really motivates people at Facebook is building stuff that they're proud of. - Mark Zuckerberg

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The purpose of life is to discover your gifts, and the meaning of life is to give them away. - Martin Seligman

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

The main Facebook usage is so big. About 20 percent of the time people spend on their phone is on Facebook. - Mark Zuckerberg

The thing that we are trying to do at Facebook, is just help people connect and communicate more efficiently. - Mark Zuckerberg

Facebook just sounds like a drag, in my day seeing pictures of peoples vacations was considered a punishment. - Betty White

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

One of my big regrets is that Facebook hasn't had a major chance to shape the mobile operating system ecosystem. - Mark Zuckerberg

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

A lot of times, I run a thought experiment: 'If I were not at Facebook, what would I be doing to make the world more open?' - Mark Zuckerberg

When I started Facebook from my dorm room in 2004, the idea that my roommates and I talked about all the time was a world that was more open. - Mark Zuckerberg


Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack