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Fine Mess

Political humor in the United States

Fine Mess thanks to Tim Smith

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Liberty, Equality, Fraternity! - Unknown

Comedy is acting out optimism. - Robin Williams

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. - WC Fields

We are all of us the worse for too much liberty. - Terence

If men were angels, no government would be necessary. - James Madison

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Self-government won't work without self-discipline. - Paul Harvey

I greet you in the name of peace, democracy, and freedom. - Nelson Mandela

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - George Jean Nathan

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. - Charlie Chaplin

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. - Will Durant

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

Passover affirms the great truth that liberty is the inalienable right of every human being. - Morris Joseph

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. - George Orwell

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - Woody Allen

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. - H L Mencken

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

We study the glory of God, and the honour and liberty of parliament, for which we fight, without seeking our own interests. - Oliver Cromwell

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

We're at a point in history where everyone needs to pay attention to politics. Too much is at stake for us to be apathetic. - Kevin Costner

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. - Oscar Ameringer

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


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