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Fine Mess

Political humor in the United States

Fine Mess thanks to Tim Smith

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All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Comedy is tragedy plus time. - Carol Burnett

Good taste is the enemy of comedy. - Mel Brooks

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

God writes comedy but sometimes has a slow audience. - Garrison Keillor

All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means. - Zhou Enlai

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. - George Bernard Shaw

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

I believe that truth is the glue that holds government together. - Gerald R. Ford

Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think. - Jean de La Bruyere

To say nothing, especially when speaking, is half the art of diplomacy. - Will Durant

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like. - Bertrand Russell

Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who'll get the blame. - Bertrand Russell

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

When the body of the people is possessed of the supreme power, it is called a democracy. - Charles de Secondat

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw

So, if we lie to the government, it's a felony.
But if they lie to us, it's politics. - Bill Murray

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to my conscience, above all liberties. - John Milton

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

Politics is the only business where doing nothing other than making the other guy look bad is an acceptable outcome. - Mark Warner

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

A party of order or stability, and a party of progress or reform, are both necessary elements of a healthy state of political life. - John Stuart Mill

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi

Political correctness is about denial, usually in the weasel circumlocutory jargon which distorts and evades and seldom stands up to honest analysis. - George M Fraser


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