#1 humor site on the 'net

Forget The Wall

Build a deck and invite everyone over

Forget The Wall thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Not all classrooms have four walls. - Unknown

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

There is Jackson, standing like a stone wall. - Bernard Bee

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

You are confined only by the walls you build yourself. - Unknown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

Noise is a buffer, more effective than cubicles or booth walls. - Margaret Heffernan

The new job of art is to sit on the wall and get more expensive. - Robert Hughes

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

In Wall Street the only thing that's hard to explain is next week. - Louis Rukeyser

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M Wright

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Visual storytelling of one kind or another has been around since cavemen were drawing on the walls. - Frank Darabont

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

How do you confuse a Kerryman?
Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick. - Unknown

Be united with other Christians. A wall with loose bricks is not good. The bricks must be cemented together. - Corrie Ten Boom

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Figure out what you hope for. Live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides. - Barbara Kingsolver

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Freedom has many difficulties and democracy is not perfect. But we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in. - John F Kennedy

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

My writing philosophy is throwing spaghetti against the wall. That's how I take pictures, too. If I take 100, surely one will be good. - Amanda Peet

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster


Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap

Redneck Trophy Fish

Country Irony

'None Of The Above' Election Option

I've Got Your Back

Vintage Campers

Great Minds of History

But That Was Yesterday

Trudeau's Top Fails

Picture Of Me Getting Naked

Today's Paper Read Yesterday

Fear Of Change

Yes!

Unger Games