#1 humor site on the 'net

Grandma on Speed Dial

InstaGramma

Grandma on Speed Dial thanks to Chris Kane

QuotaBills
Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

I try to figure out the marketing puzzle. - Nelson Peltz

Music is the universal language of mankind. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Marketing isn't magic. There is a science to it. - Dan Zarrella

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

No great marketing decision was ever made on quantitative data. - John Sculley

Reality can be lost when reason and language have been violated. - Ravi Zacharias

Marketing and innovation are the two chief functions of business. - Peter F Drucker

Increasingly, the mass marketing is turning into a mass of niches. - Chris Anderson

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

Marketing is far too important to leave to the marketing department. - David Packard

Silence is the language of God; it is also the language of the heart. - Sivananda

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

Don't be afraid to get creative and experiment with your marketing. - Mike Volpe

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The media landscape of the present day is a map in search of a territory. - J.G. Ballard

Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language. - Gail Godwin

Any dictator would admire the uniformity and obedience of the U.S. media. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I wanted to promote skateboarding as much as possible through different media. - Tony Hawk

No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut. - Sam Rayburn

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain. - Jane Wagner

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Contradiction is not a sign of falsity, nor the lack of contradiction a sign of truth. - Blaise Pascal

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

Because the Empire controls the media, we can turn any news to the Emperor's advantage. - Daniel Wallace

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

No matter what, the very first piece of social media real estate I'd start with is a blog. - Chris Brogan

Instagram is not a place for tone or irony... (she obviously hasn't been to #joekstergram) - Mary H K Choi

The way you can understand all of the social media is as the creation of a new kind of public space. - Danah Boyd

Networking is marketing. Marketing yourself, marketing your uniqueness, marketing what you stand for. - Christine Comaford-Lynch

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

The aim of marketing is to know and understand the customer so well the product or service fits him and sells itself. - Peter F Drucker

Irritainment: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

And so the abnormal is now normal in entertainment, because the normal is treated as subnormal in the world of the media. - Ravi Zacharias

Music expresses feeling and thought, without language; it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words. - Robert G Ingersoll

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

With traditional marketing, you tell people you are a rock star. With content marketing, you show them you're a rock star. - Robert Rose

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Even when you are marketing to your entire audience or customer base, you are still simply speaking to a single human at any given time. - Ann Handley

The media have provided the Devil with perhaps the greatest opportunity accorded him since Adam and Eve were turned out of the Garden of Eden. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made

Ups and Downs

Irish Flu Shots

Snake Circle

Romantic Accident

Winter Mirror

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Abbey Road Joe-kster and Bernie

Straws

Chernobyl Fish