#1 humor site on the 'net

Hendersonville Police

Probably not a pursuit vehicle

Hendersonville Police thanks to Dwayne Tyus

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Not failure, but low aim, is crime. - J. R. Lowell

Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music. - Vladimir Nabokov

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

It's a proven fact that capital punishment is a well-known detergent to crime. - Archie Bunker

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? - George Carlin

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

There is a blessed necessity by which the interest of men is always driving them to the right, and making all crime mean and ugly. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


Baby iMac

Guard Roos

Come And Go Door Mat

Redneck Farmer

McDonalds in South America

Stealth Snake

Camouflage Pro

Beard Fashion

Playground Drivers

In Step Horse

Finger Olympics

Cow Licks

Dog Distress

Mate Attraction

Dark Room

Lineup For Dinner

Redneck Furnace

Traffic Sign Art

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Garage Door Art

Kellogg's Fire

Teenage Independence

Parasite Trivia

Bobslide Event