Hunting Stand Fail

Hunters do it with a big bang. - Unknown

Never shoot more than you can eat. - Unknown

Deer hunters will do anything for a buck. - Unknown

Old hunters never die, they just stay loaded. - Unknown

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Aim high and you won’t shoot your foot off. - Phyllis Diller

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself. - Unknown

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

Canada has two emblems - the beaver and the maple. - John W. Dawson

Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best. - Oscar Wilde

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Fox hunting is the unspeakable in pursuit of the inedible. - Oscar Wilde

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

I used to look like a deer in headlights on the red carpet. - Emily Blunt

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer? - Steven Wright

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

While I love shooting in New York City, I look forward to filming season six in Los Angeles. - Donald Trump

Attitude is everything - shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars. - Les Brown

Consultants are people who come down from the hill to shoot the wounded after the battle is over. - Doc Blakeley

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded. - Tyne Daly

I became hooked on the idea of being able to shoot an image and process it myself, and end up with a product. - Leonard Nimoy

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. - Tim Vine

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg. - Bjarne Stroustrup

I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called 'hunting for your spectacles.' - Lord Grey of Falloden

I was court-martialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

When you hunt animals, you may succeed or not. But when you open the fridge, you will succeed a hundred percent of the time. - Nora Volkow

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters, okay? It's, like, incredible. - Donald Trump

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialled in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence. - Brendan Behan

There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. - Ernest Hemingway