Lawyer Christmas

Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Lawyers are merchants of misery. - Nancy Levit

A lawsuit helps keep lawyers clothed. - Unknown

Don't judge your taco by its price. - Hunter S. Thompson

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Do you not know that I am above the law? - James II

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

We are never to judge a philosophy by its abuse. - Augustine

The worst form of injustice is pretended justice. - Plato

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. - Groucho Marx

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless it is paid for. - Unknown

There is no grievance that is a fit object of redress by mob law. - Abraham Lincoln

Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. - Dalai Lama

Real Estate: What your house is called during divorce proceedings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Do not judge a man until you have walked two moons in his moccasins. - Native American Proverb

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes. - Samuel Butler

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. - Blaise Pascal

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

The power I exert on the court depends on the power of my arguments, not on my gender. - Sandra Day O'Connor

Justice is the insurance we have on our lives, and obedience is the premium we pay for it. - William Penn

Lawyers are like the knights of old. You can use them to plunder other people's stuff. - Gene Gordon

Stock Split: When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Divorce = Rebirth: forget the past, replan your life, improve your appearance & rejuvenate! - Rossana Condoleo

Law: an ordinance of reason for the common good, made by him who has care of the community. - Thomas Aquinas

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty per cent of publicity. - Lauren Bacall

We lawyers learn to study the faces of our witnesses, to form quick judgments, and to act upon them. - Lyman Abbott

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. - John F Kennedy

A lawyer's duty is to read the law well himself, then tell the people what it is, and let them act upon it. - Brigham Young

There are not enough jails, not enough policemen, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people. - Hubert H Humphrey

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

Musical innovation is full of danger to the State, for when modes of music change, the fundamental laws of the State always change with them. - Plato

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France