Lawyer Christmas

Useless laws weaken necessary laws. - Charles de Secondat

I don't want tea, I want justice! - Ally Carter

The good of the people is the chief law. - Cicero

Law is order, and good law is good order. - Aristotle

A flagrant violation of international law. - Unknown

Compromise is the best and cheapest lawyer. - Robert Louis Stevenson

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Keep skunks, bankers and lawyers at a distance. - Unknown

Judge, could I, waddya call, encroach the bench? - Archie Bunker

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger. - Martial

The law must be stable, but it must not stand still. - Roscoe Pound

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

It's every man's business to see justice done. - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Stop soft soapin' and trying to deterge the judge! - Archie Bunker

Law of Inflation: Whatever goes up will go up some more. - Kin Hubbard

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

A society that has more justice is a society that needs less charity. - Ralph Nader

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Humour is based on a modicum of truth. Ever heard a joe-k about a father-in-law? - Dick Clark

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

A jury consists of twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer. - Robert Frost

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

Disease is war with the laws of our being, and all war, as a great general has said, is hell. - Lewis G. Janes

Law enforcement cannot succeed without the sustained, and informed, interest of all citizens. - Lyndon B Johnson

Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again. - Nelson Mandela

Whatever their other contributions to our society, lawyers could be an important source of protein. - Guindon

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in. - Brendan Behan

The legal system is often a mystery, and we, its priests, preside over rituals baffling to everyday citizens. - Henry G. Miller

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The judicial system is the most expensive machine ever invented for finding out what happened and what to do about it. - Irving R. Kaufman

That old law about "an eye for an eye" leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. - Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

The Supreme Court's only armor is the cloak of public trust; its sole ammunition, the collective hopes of our society. - Irving R. Kaufman

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

Justice, sir, is the great interest of man on earth. It is the ligament which holds civilized beings and civilized nations together. - Daniel Webster

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright