#1 humor site on the 'net

Military Mower

Cutting the grass in style

Military Mower thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An army marches on its stomach. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Drill Sergeant: An army dentist. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Necessity makes the best soldiers. - Josephus

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

Paddy O Furniture: Irish lawn chairs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Laundress: A gown worn while sitting on the grass - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Lawyers are the foot soldiers of our Constitution. - Rennard Strickland

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life. - Charles M. Schulz

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

A leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. - Walt Whitman

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

A people without history is like the wind on the buffalo grass. - Lakota Sioux Proverb

Be harmonious with each other, enrich the soldiers, ignore all others. - Septimius Severus

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn. - Andrew V. Mason

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself. - Zenrin

Books are no different from goats - they enjoy an afternoon out on the lawn. - Kate Bernheimer

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - African Proverb

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

Shady Character: A fellow who snoozes in a hammock under a tree while his wife mows the lawn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Samson, he takes the jawbone out of the grass and he kills the whole army of the Phillipines. - Archie Bunker

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. - Billy Connolly

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. - Unknown

The policemen or soldiers are only a gun in the establishments hand. They make the racist secure in his racism. - Huey Newton

The bulletin board on the lawn of a New Jersey Church reads "We reserve the right to accept everybody." - John Kazmark

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed. - Bill Vaughan

Toy Soldiers was my introduction to film. I certainly didn't think I was doing art by any stretch of the imagination. - Tim Robbins

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent


Life's Choices

Olympic Torch Bearers

Lethal Weapon

Cell Shaver

Getting Goosed

No Swimming

Drift Racing

Alligators vs. Crocodiles

Cure for Internet Addiction

Seal LOL

Keyboard Seating

Illusive Dice

Cockroach Cancer

Time Management

People Crossing

Cozy Home

Redneck Faucet

Duck That Did Not Duck

Chewie, We're Home

Introducing the iPhone 20

Meateor

Ancient Shiloh

British Accountant

Ruling On Criticism