#1 humor site on the 'net

Morning Memory

Looking for a morning perk-me-up?

Morning Memory thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. - Abraham Lincoln

Ultimate horror often paralyses memory in a merciful way. - H.P. Lovecraft

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

Just one positive thought in the morning can change your whole day. - Unknown

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin. - Barbara Kingsolver

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

Where beams of imagination play,
The memory's soft figures melt away. - Alexander Pope

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. - Edward de Bono

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory. - Dr. Seuss

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - Winston Churchill

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

I wake up in the morning, I do a little stretching exercises, pick up the horn and play. - Herb Alpert

No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard. - Robert Frost

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

My future starts when I wake up every morning. Every day I find something creative to do with my life. - Miles Davis

No one wakes up in the morning and says, "I want to gain 150 pounds and I will start right now!" - Tricia Cunningham

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

I'm taking memory power boost tablets to help me every day and doing the puzzles to help me stay focused. - Terry Bradshaw

Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence; he is just using his memory. - Leonardo da Vinci

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon I put it back again. - Oscar Wilde

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. - Bob Dylan

Every morning brings new potential, but if you dwell on the misfortunes of the day before, you tend to overlook tremendous opportunities. - Harvey Mackay

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown


Lost Meal

Plane Oops!

The Wheels of Life

Nerd Shaving

Beethoven's Teacher

Coke's Special Ingredients

Weather Warning

Freedom At Last

Ebola Can Be Eaten

Open Face Sandwich

Busted Politician

Balanced Diet

African Wheelbarrow

Drain Swimmer

Just In Thyme

Tie Wrap Bumper

Mexican Salad Dressing

Leaning Bookshelves

Shrunk Jeep

Quarantine Garden

Casualty Way

Painfull Skydive

You Are Grounded

Discrimination