New College Game Show

Intricate facts of sex - Archie Bunker

See if he passed the literaracy test. - Archie Bunker

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Occasionally words must serve to veil the facts. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Only time will tell if we stand the test of time. - Van Halen

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them. - Samuel Crothers

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Optimism doesn't wait on facts. It deals with prospects. - Norman Cousins

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. - Eartha Kitt

I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. - Benjamin Franklin

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

An arts degree is like a diploma in origami. And about as much use. - J.G. Ballard

The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy. - Henry Brightman

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education. - Theodore Roosevelt

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity. - Ambrose Bierce

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Yale: 1. A well known Ivy League university; 2. What southern cheerleaders do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

Sometimes I think I am a genius. Then I realize I’ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy. - Unknown

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

The real test of your character is your treatment of those who can be of no possible service to you. - Unknown

Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect. - Stephen Leacock

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad's payroll - and on to his wife's - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Aftermath: 1. The period following algebra; 2. The horrible headache you have when you've finished the algebra test. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People have to see that there is a high degree of complexity about belonging to a gang. It's a symptom, not a problem. - Greg Boyle

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

I love to play hide and seek with my kid, but some days my goal is to find a hiding place where he can't find me until after high school. - Unknown

A lawyer's performance in the courtroom is responsible for about 25 percent of the outcome; the remaining 75 percent depends on the facts. - Melvin Belli

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam. - George Carlin

Bullfighting is the only art in which the artist is in danger of death and in which the degree of brilliance in the performance is left to the fighter's honor. - Ernest Hemingway

Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it's hard. When you do that you are passing the test. And God promises you your marked moments are on their way. - Joel Osteen

For one human being to love another - that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks: the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation. - Rainer M Riike

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most. - Jay Leno