New College Game Show

Tests of love always end badly. - Melanie Thernstrom

See if he passed the literaracy test. - Archie Bunker

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

I graduated first in my class from alibi school. - Jeffrey McDaniel

Occasionally words must serve to veil the facts. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master. - Leonardo da Vinci

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Often the test of courage is not to die, but to live. - Conte Vittorio Afieri

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Most every dental school has discount dental services. - Matthew Lesko

I'll take a drug test, if you'll take an IQ test. - Fritz Hollings

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

I was a great student at a great school, Wharton School of Finance. - Donald Trump

Your best self shows up only when you are put to an impossible test. - Unknown

Success can test one's mettle as surely as the strongest adversary. - Unknown

We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom. - Leo Tolstov

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln

The real test of your character is your treatment of those who can be of no possible service to you. - Unknown

Here is a test to find out whether your mission on earth is finished: If you are alive, it isn't. - Richard Bach

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

Your desires and true beliefs have a way of playing blind man's bluff. You must corner the inner facts. - David Seabury

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

I might show facts as plain as day: but, since your eyes are blind, you'd say, 'Where? What?' and turn away. - Christina Rossetti

Mathematics is indeed dangerous in that it absorbs students to such a degree that it dulls their senses to everything else. - Prinz zu Hohlenlohe-Ingelfingen Kraft

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. - Flannery O'Connor

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When I finished school, I took one of those career-aptitude tests, and based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime. - Tim Cavanagh

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

When it comes to atoms, language can be used only as in poetry. The poet, too, is not nearly so concerned with describing facts as with creating images. - Neils Bohr

Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. - Garry Trudeau

Blind faith, no matter how passionately expressed, will not suffice. Science for its part will test relentlessly every assumption about the human condition. - E.O. Wilson

I suppose it is because nearly all children go to school nowadays and have things arranged for them that they seem so forlornly unable to produce their own ideas. - Agatha Christie

It might be a good idea if the various countries of the world would occasionally swap history books, just to see what other people are doing with the same set of facts. - Bill Vaughan

Left to ourselves, we might pick the wrong health insurance, the wrong mortgage, the wrong school for our kids; why, unless they stop us, we might pick the wrong light bulb. - Mitch Daniels

I'm a really smart guy. I was a really good student at the best school in the country. The reason I have a little doubt, just a little, is because he grew up and nobody knew him. - Donald Trump

Factoids... that is, facts which have no existence before appearing in a magazine or newspaper, creations which are not so much lies as a product to manipulate emotion in the Silent Majority. - Norman Mailer