Patient Transfer Service

God help the patient. - Lord Mansfield

The patient always lies on the couch. - Unknown

Pain is temporary; quitting is forever. - Lance Armstrong

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs. - Kin Hubbard

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal. - C S Lewis

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. - C S Lewis

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Pain is neither intolerable nor everlasting... it is in the power of the soul to maintain its own serenity. - Marcus Aurelius

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go. - Jack Benny

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace. - Andre Gide

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com