Pets Come First

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. - Unknown

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Everywhere animals are in chains, but we image them as free. - Carol J Adams

All animals are minor variations on a very particular theme. - Richard Dawkins

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else. - Samuel Johnson

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

There's a good animal show on with that kindly old gent, Marlons Perkos. - Archie Bunker

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

If a man aspires towards a righteous life, his first act of abstinence is from injury to animals. - Leo Tolstoy

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. - Stephen Covey

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones. - Bertrand Russell

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain