#1 humor site on the 'net

Pets Come First

Where you can get a free belly rub

Pets Come First thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Rebellions of the belly are the worst. - Francis Bacon

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Watchdog: Animal that keeps the best time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable. - Plato

You cannot reason with a hungry belly; it has no ears. - Greek Proverb

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

Having an animal in your life makes you a better human. - Rachel Ray

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Contempt for animal life leads to contempt for human life. - Edward Abbey

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else. - Samuel Johnson

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Animals don't hate, and we're supposed to be better than them. - Elvis Presley

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A A Milne

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

I'm definitely an animal lover, and I stand up for all animals' rights. - Laura Mennell

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. - Anton Chekhov

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


Photo Scratch

Yoda-Churchill

Cup of Mona Lisa

Bar Walker

Olympic Moon Rings

BTTF II Car

Pool Garden

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Wait For My Human

China Road Load

Burger King Street

Taking The Bait

Redneck Tailgate

Horse Model

What Has America Become?

Billionaire Thoughts

New Style Ribs

Beware Of Sign

Into Fitness - Part I

Puddle Bath

Olympic Hurdle Joe

Katoomba Railway

The Importance Of Education

New Events for Summer Olympics