Pets Come First

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

We hold these semi-animal meetings. - Archie Bunker

Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Watchdog: Animal that keeps the best time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. - Mark Twain

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Animals are like people because people are animals. - Barbara T Gates

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young. - Unknown

Mouse: An animal which strews its path with fainting women. - Ambrose Bierce

Hamster: The animal least likely to be found in a synagogue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

We're the only animal that wakes up and doesn't stretch. - Conor McGregor

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

There are a lot of things I learned from animals. One was that they couldn't hiss or boo me. - James Dean

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. - Mark Twain

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

Animals, in their generation, are wiser than the sons of men; but their wisdom is confined to a few particulars, and lies in a very narrow compass. - Joseph Addison