Pets Come First

My favorite animal is steak. - Fran Lebowitz

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

Animals are like people because people are animals. - Barbara T Gates

You cannot reason with a hungry belly; it has no ears. - Greek Proverb

Somebody must get the incompetent lawyers and doctors. - George Bernard Shaw

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling. - Andre Gide

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Well washed and combed domestic pets grow dull; they miss the stimulus of fleas. - Francis Galton

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

I was readin' an article about the animal population - there's millions of pets explodin'. - Archie Bunker

We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. - Stephen Covey

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. - Bertrand Russell

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Animals have one thing that puts them way ahead of people: they don't dissemble, and you don't have to pretend in front of them. - Ivan Klima

Ugly animals have it rough. We're more likely to eat them or let them go extinct, and less likely to adopt them from animal shelters. - Joshua A Krisch

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it. - Robert Brault

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don't like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around. - Ernest Hemingway

Animals are like little angels sent to earth to teach us how to love. They don't get angry or play silly games. They are always there for us. - Whitney Mandel