Pets Come First

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals - Unknown

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

The doctors X-rayed my head an found nothing. - Dizzy Dean

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

My music is best understood by children and animals. - Igor Stravinsky

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Animals are my friends... and I don't eat my friends. - George Bernard Shaw

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. - George Orwell

The only meat I eat is from animals I've killed myself. - Mark Zuckerberg

For an animal person, an animal-less home is no home at all. - Cleveland Amory

The best thing about animals is that they don't talk much. - Thornton Wilder

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like the herd animals we are, we sniff warily at the strange one among us. - Loren Eiseley

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? - George Carlin

Some people talk to animals. Not many listen though. That's the problem. - A A Milne

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The turkey is living proof that an animal can survive with no intelligence at all. - Harvey D. Comstock

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

Moose: An animal that has a head and horns on one end and a living room wall on the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I like cookies, any cookie you put in front of me - animal cookies, sugar cookies, anything crunchy. - Maria Shriver

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

There are some things in life where it's better to receive than to give, and massage is one of them. - Al Michaels

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

Animals have one thing that puts them way ahead of people: they don't dissemble, and you don't have to pretend in front of them. - Ivan Klima

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer