#1 humor site on the 'net

Playground Child Eliminator

Down-playing safety in the park

Playground Child Eliminator thanks to Neil Leslie

QuotaBills
Childhood is a wilderness. - Aspen Matis

Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

I go to school the youth to learn the future. - Robert Frost

Inspiration exists, but it must find you working. - Pablo Picasso

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

Youth is not a time of life - it is a state of mind. - Samuel Ullman

The best thing to spend on your children is your time. - Louise Hart

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

Inspiration usually comes during work, rather than before it. - Madeleine L'Engle

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you. - Dick Cavett

Our youth we can have but today; we may always find time to grow old. - George Berkeley

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home. - Robert Orben

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us. - Golda Meir

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration; the rest of us just get up and go to work. - Stephen King

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book. - Cicero

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz

Success is 1 percent inspiration, 99 percent perspiration, and 2 percent attention to detail. - Phil

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

Grow up, and that is a terribly hard thing to do. It is much easier to skip it and go from one childhood to another. - F Scott Fitzgerald

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Everything here is edible; even I'm edible. But that, dear children, is cannibalism, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. - Johnny Depp

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration

Tennis Ball Retriever

One

Tonsil Ring

Brew Haul-her - 12 Brewskies At A Time

Anon-y-moose

Redneck Beer Opener

Greek Monk

Dates For Everyone

Max Occupancy Rounded to 100

Group Photo

Awning Truck Advertising

Harley Load

Face To Face

Who Needs Physics?

Benched Puppies

Water Relief

Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack