QuotaBillsLife is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack
There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. - Zig Ziglar
Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker
You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme
Liam's like a man with a fork in a world of soup. - Noel Gallagher
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. - David Letterman
She died doing what she loved, taking a selfie in traffic. - Unknown
You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass
The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker
Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker
Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson
If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz