#1 humor site on the 'net

Twins' First Piano Lesson

Tiny Fingers Tickling The Ivories

Twins' First Piano Lesson thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Piano is like drudgery. - Warren Zevon

Stoic: De boid what brings de babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Ballroom: A nursery for crying babies - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It takes a whole village to raise a child. - African Proverb

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

It takes an entire village to raise a child. - African Proverb

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Picasso

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. It cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours. - Orison Swett Marden

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

The vivacity of children is always charming, because it is always sincere. A grave child is a rose without fragrance. - Unknown

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Piano playing is more difficult than statesmanship. It is harder to awake emotions in ivory keys than it is in human beings. - Ignace Jan Paderewski

Any fool can have a child. That doesn't make you a father. It's the courage to raise a child that makes you a father. - Barack Obama

Grandparent: 1. One who knows that spanking is unnecessary; 2. The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell


Family Bike

Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche

Undertaker Bike

Road Sign Dictionary

Sandal Security

House Appraisal