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Vatican Chess

Real life checkmate

Vatican Chess thanks to Keith Blake

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I would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

It's safer to be a chess player than a chess piece. - Mary Foley

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

The English have three vegetables and two of them are cabbage. - Walter Page

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

You'd play me chess, about which I don't even know how to deal. - Archie Bunker

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

I have great respect for the Pope. I like the Pope. I actually like him. - Donald Trump

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it. - George Carlin

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Human affairs are like a chess game: Only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players. - Hung Tzu-ch'eng

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

You know that ISIS wants to go in and take over the Vatican? You have heard that. You know, that's a dream of theirs, to go into Italy. - Donald Trump

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


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