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Vatican Chess

Real life checkmate

Vatican Chess thanks to Keith Blake

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Cleopatra: Queen of denial. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I would have made a good Pope. - Richard M Nixon

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I think Queen Elizabeth II is a charming woman. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

England can never be ruined except by a Parliament. - Lord Burleigh

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

It's safer to be a chess player than a chess piece. - Mary Foley

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n roll, but I am the queen. - Little Richard

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

You'd play me chess, about which I don't even know how to deal. - Archie Bunker

I have great respect for the Pope. I like the Pope. I actually like him. - Donald Trump

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

You know what's got the world in the shape today? Buddah, the Pope, Marx and Lemons. - Archie Bunker

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

Human affairs are like a chess game: Only those who do not take it seriously can be called good players. - Hung Tzu-ch'eng

Reporter: "How many people work at the Vatican?"
Pope John XXIII: "About half." - Pope John XXIII

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

Fischer, the great American chess champion, famously said, 'Chess is life.' I would say, 'Pi is life.' - Daniel Tammet

My idea is to make moves to bring chess back to the world's map, to make it part of the world's geography again. - Anatoly Karpov

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin


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