We Will Cut You

Long on hair, sort on brains. - French Proverb

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - George Carlin

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Honeycomb: Hair styling tool used by bees - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush. - Oliver Herford

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat? - Dr Gonzo

You're only as good as your last haircut. - Fran Lebowitz

Don't point that beard at me – it might go off. - Groucho Marx

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

He doesn't dye his hair, he's just prematurely orange. - Gerald Ford

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less with baldness. - Cicero

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Many of us are at the 'metallic' age - gold in our teeth, silver in our hair, and lead in our pants. - Unknown

Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro