#1 humor site on the 'net

Bartender Mechanic

How a pour man finds a new job

Bartender Mechanic thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Emulsion: A mixture of oil and emotion. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oil and truth will get uppermost at last. - Proverb

Then you add two forkfuls of cooking oil. - The French Chef

What is this, an audience or an oil painting? - Milton Berle

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory. - Unknown

Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. - J Paul Getty

Oil is drowning our oceans and drowning our boreal forests. - Winona LaDuke

You used so much oil the U.S. is trying to invade the plate. - Gordon Ramsay

Stay up and really burn the midnight oil. There are no compromises. - Leontyne Price

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take. - Josh Billings

May you have warmth in your igloo, oil in your lamp, and peace in your heart. - Eskimo Proverb

Guarantee: A legal vehicle which expires on the same day as your mechanical one - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is wise to apply the refined oil of politeness to the mechanism of friendship. - Colette

The squeaky wheel may get the most oil, but it's also the first to be replaced. - Marilyn Vos Savant

Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy. - Unknown

You have to look for teachers. If you want to be a mechanic, go hang out with mechanics. - Robert Kiyosaki

If quantum mechanics hasn't profoundly shocked you, you haven't understood it yet. - Niels Bohr

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." - Steven Wright

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

It is questionable if all the mechanical inventions yet made have lightened the day's toil of any human being. - John S Mill

A designer is an emerging synthesis of artist, inventor, mechanic, objective economist and evolutionary strategist. - R. Buckminster Fuller

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Moses took us Israelis forty years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil. - Golda Meir

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

It is with narrow-souled people as with narrow-necked bottles: the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out. - Alexander Pope

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months. - Bill Tammeus

Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy. - Sai Baba


Laundry Goat

Meat Loaf

Better With A Beard

Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive