#1 humor site on the 'net

Beethoven's Teacher

Punny music humour

Beethoven's Teacher thanks to Lauren Kelly

QuotaBills
Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Where words fail, music speaks. - Hans Christian Anderson

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Music describes what words can't. - Unknown

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Puns are the highest form of literature. - Alfred Hitchcock

Dancing with her was like moving a piano. - Ring Lardner

Modern music is as dangerous as narcotics. - Pietro Mascagni

The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune. - Irish Proverb

Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. - Ronald Reagan

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Life exists for the love of music or beautiful things. - G K Chesterton

Music is the art which is most nigh to tears and memory. - Oscar Wilde

The music is all around us. All you have to do is listen. - August Rush

You just pick a chord, go twang, and you've got music. - Sid Vicious

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. - Berthold Auerbach

Music is my mistress, and she plays second fiddle to no one. - Duke Ellington

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

The sweetest music in the world to every person is his own name. - Unknown

The symphony must be like the world. It must embrace everything. - Gustav Mahler

Life is a rich strain of music, suggesting a realm too fair to be. - George William Curtis

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. - Kin Hubbard

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

There are two kinds of music, the good and bad. I play the good kind. - Louis Armstrong

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. - Tom Lehrer

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. - Bob Hope

Great music is as much about the space between the notes as it is about the notes themselves. - Sting

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

A hundred years from now, people will listen to the music of the Beatles the same way we listen to Mozart. - Paul McCartney

Music is by far the most wonderful method we have to remind us each day of the power of personal accomplishment. - Chris S Salazar

Melody is the essence of music. I compare a good melodist to a fine racer, and counterpoints to hack post-horses. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. - Oscar Wilde

Look inside. That way lies dancing to the melodies spun out by your own heart. This is a symphony. All the rest are jingles. - Anna Quindlen

The piano is a universal instrument. If you start there, learn your theory and how to read, you can go on to any other instrument. - Eddie Van Halen

Music is the great uniter. An incredible force. Something that people who differ on everything and anything else can have in common. - Sarah Dessen

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory. - Thomas Beecham

The music that really turns me on is either running toward God or away from God. Both recognize the pivot, that God is at the center of the jaunt. - Bono


Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy

Little Shaver

T-Rex Breakthrough

Wise Moves

Braille in the Park

Hiker Boot Camp

Important Phone Call

Beauty of Mathematics

Deadly Facts About Water

Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All

Conflict Of Interest

Awkward Family Reunion