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In the lap of the cards. - Archie Bunker

All money is tainted, tain't none of it mine. - Thomas F. McGuire

Money no longer talks. It just goes without saying. - George Humphrey

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

Being rich is having money, being wealthy is having time. - Stephen Swid

A woman's best protection is a little money of her own. - Clare B Luce

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. - Jay Leno

Never invest your money in anything that eats or needs repairing. - Billy Rose

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. - Everett Dirksen

A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction. - Virginia Woolf

If we were interested in making money, we wouldn’t have become teachers. - Robin Williams

A failure is a man who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience. - Elbert Hubbard

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks. - Laura Swenson

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

How little you know about the age you live in if you think that honey is sweeter than cash in hand. - Ovid

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. - George Burns

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

There are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny - have you ever tried to buy them without money? - Ogden Nash

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


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