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Black Plague II

I hear they're bringing it back...

Black Plague II thanks to Bruno Motley

Maybe The Donald was right after all...

QuotaBills
Flew: Plane sickness. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The pain passes, but the beauty remains. - Pierre-August Renoir

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot. - Dutch Proverb

Leaders don't inflict pain; they share pain. - Max Depree

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Champions expect pain, endure pain, and never complain. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. - Bob Marley

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown. - William Penn

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it. - J K Rowling

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Many agree that the worst thing that could ever happen is if Russia and China get closer. - Donald Trump

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Meaninglessness does not come from being weary of pain; meaninglessness comes from being weary of pleasure. - G K Chesterton

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

The trouble with putting armor on is that, while it protects you from pain, it also protects you from pleasure. - Celeste Holm

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. - C S Lewis

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Just like a shoe, if someone is meant for you, they will fit just perfectly. No forcing, no struggling, and no pain. - Unknown

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The pain started years ago, but I'd lived with it for so long at that point that I'd accepted it as an inevitable part of me. - Ashley Wallis

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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