Black Plague II

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Pain and suffering are God's megaphone. - C S Lewis

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

The Meathead swooped down on the table like a plague of crocuses. - Archie Bunker

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man. - Dr. Seuss

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

God loves us too much to leave us alone to contend with the pain, guilt and loneliness of our present life. - Josh McDowell

The more pain that's referenced or implied, the deeper the laugh can be because the laughter heals the pain. - Mimi Kennedy

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright