#1 humor site on the 'net

Bourbon Shampoo

No, officer, I haven't been drinking...

Bourbon Shampoo thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! - Steven Wright

Tailor Shop: Last of the big-time menders - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pre-Law: The major of a person who will end up in sales - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I spent seven hours in a beauty shop... and that was for the estimate. - Phyllis Diller

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Bargain Sale: A place where a woman can ruin one dress while she buys another - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

To me, job titles don't matter. Everyone is in sales. It's the only way we stay in business. - Harvey Mackay

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

I remember when the candle shop burned won. Everyone stood around singing "Happy Birthday." - Steven Wright

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera. - Unknown

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown


Nose Siphoner

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Mouse Revenge

Young Who Suffer

Stray Cat

A Dog's Seeing Eye Dog

Forest Guardian

Sing It Out

UPS and DOWNS

Good Luck Angel

Hosanna in Excel Sheets

British Kingdom

Dance With Me

Mouse Trick

Black Friday Scam

Pianist's Challenge

Economy Flight

Diamond Ring TP

Water Transformer Hazard

Office Irony

Covid Vaccine Testing

The Hills Are Closed

Temperature Tax

Social Distancing Shoes