#1 humor site on the 'net

Boycott Bills

Slave owners depicted on U.S. currency no longer acceptable

Boycott Bills thanks to Roy Taylor

U.S. banknotes
$1 - George Washington
$20 - Andrew Jackson
$50 - Ulysses S. Grant
$100 - Benjamin Franklin

QuotaBills
But what makes wage slaves? Wages! - Groucho Marx

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

Money is a great servant, but a poor master. - Francis Bacon

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Soldiers win the battles and generals get the credit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Where you stumble and fall, there you discover the gold. - Joseph Campbell

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money? - Unknown

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

The just man may sin with an open chest of gold before him. - Italian Proverb

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude. - Richard Pryor

After all, it's only moving shadows on a silver screen. - Richard Fleischer

I'd like to live like a poor man, only with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. - Henry Ford

A woman will buy anything she thinks the store is losing money on. - Kin Hubbard

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. - John Kenneth Galbraith

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money. - Carter Glass

Never get deeply in debt to someone who cried at the end of Scarface. - Robert Wieder

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D Rockefeller

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

Borrowed thoughts, like borrowed money, only show the poverty of the borrower. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words. - William H Gass

Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it. - Laurence J Peter

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. - Dorothy Parker

It's not about money. It's about the people you have, and how you're led. - Steve Jobs

It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. - Suze Orman

The principal benefit acting has afforded me is the money to pay for my psychoanalysis. - Marlon Brando

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

Good leaders do not take on all the work themselves; neither do they take all the credit. - Unknown

Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan

Critics search for ages for the wrong word which, to give them credit, they eventually find. - Peter Ustinov

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don't know which half. - John Wannamaker

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. - JRR Tolkien

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them. - Bill Vaughan

Money can't buy happiness. But, it can buy a chocolate, which is pretty much the same thing. - Hanako Ishii

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money. - Abigail Van Buren

Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. - Ernest Haskins

The danger of the past was that men became slaves. The danger of the future is that men may become robots. - Eric Fromm

There is no king who has not had a slave among his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king among his. - Helen Keller

Why does not the Pope build St. Peter's with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers? - Martin Luther

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for a dollar and use it up in two weeks. - Barrymore

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. - Andy Borowitz

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Modern poets talk against business, poor things, but all of us write for money. Beginners are subjected to trial by market. - Robert Frost

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. - Woody Allen

A good leader is a person who takes a little more than his share of the blame and a little less than his share of the credit. - John Maxwell

Economy is going without something you do want in case, perhaps, you should someday want something you probably won't want. - Anthony Hope

Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. - Jonathan Clements

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


It's Making This Weird Noise

Awkward

German Emergency Road Share

Bikini Photobomb

Hands Free Cell Phone

Defence Budget Cuts

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Soldier Salute

Miss Afghanistan Finalists

Beware Of Log

Horse Wood Sculpture

Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Phun with Physics

Saskatchewan Harley

I Don't Want To Get My Pants Wet

Christopher Walken

Secret Passage

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Best Hands-On Coverage

When Air Was Free

Changing Priorities Ahead

Expired Marriage

No Flies On Me

Goose Walkers