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Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Hasta la vista, baby. - Terminator 2: Judgement Day

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

Bison: What you say when your child leaves for school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Baby I paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you. - Jay-Z

A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. - Thomas Paine

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

If the loss of shame was the child of secularization, the loss of reason is the child of pluralization. - Ravi Zacharias

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm. - Aldous Huxley

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Unbreakable Toy: 1. An object that is indestructible - until a child plays with it; 2. Useful for breaking other toys. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Blessed be Providence which has given to each his toy: the doll to the child, the child to the woman, the woman to the man, the man to the devil. - Victor Hugo

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds