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Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

For when a child is born the mother also is born again. - Gilbert Parker

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

No matter how bad a child is, he is still good for a tax deduction. - American Proverb

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? - Benny Hill

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

When you teach a child something, you take away forever his chance of discovering it for himself. - Jean Piaget

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds