Can I Lick It

Minimum: A small mother - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Silence is the mother of truth. - Benjamin Disraeli

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Diligence is the mother of good fortune. - Benjamin Disraeli

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

A mother is your first friend, your best friend, your forever friend. - Unknown

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

Grandmother, as she gets older, is not fading, but becoming more concentrated. - Paulette Alden

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

My mother gave me my drive, but my father gave me my dreams. Thanks to him, I could see a future. - Liza Minnelli

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. - Samuel Smiles

My Mother: She is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her. - Jodi Picoult

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." - Steven Wright

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren