Can I Lick It

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. - Roseanne Barr

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

To a child's ear, 'mother' is magic in any language. - Arlene Benedict

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. - English Proverb

The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology. - Ray Romano

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Grandmother and grandchild never truly part, maybe in distance but never in heart. - Unknown

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

Mother is the heartbeat in the home; and without her, there seems to be no heart throb. - Leroy Brownlow

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong, even though they say it's okay in the Bible. - Homer Simpson

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

A man never sees all that his mother has been to him until it's too late to let her know that he sees it. - W D Howells

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

My mother reads the obituary page every day, but she could never understand how people always die in alphabetical order. - Frank Carson

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed. - Linda Wooten

I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." - Steven Wright

Makeup: Lipstick, eyeliner, blush which ironically makes Mom look better while making her young daughter look 'like a tramp' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten