Canine Couture

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The drowning man grips to his own hair. - Greek Proverb

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffett

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. - Corey Ford

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

Experience is a comb life gives you after you lose your hair. - Judith Stern

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I don't consider myself bald. I'm simply taller than my hair. - Tom Sharp

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say. - Bertrand Russell

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

When I was with Andy Warhol, I thought, 'God, his wig looks cheaper than mine!' - Dolly Parton

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro