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Cord Chewing

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Cord Chewing thanks to Dan MacAulay

Watts You See is Watts You Get

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TV: Chewing gum for the eyes. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Puns are a form of humor with words. - Guillermo C. Infante

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Electric Eel: Fish that thrives in strong currents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The Internet is a telephone system that's gotten uppity. - Clifford Stoll

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

The 3 fastest means of communication: Twitter; Telephone; Tell a woman. - Unknown

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

Current Events: 1. What an electrician worries about; 2. Electric shocks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's nothing like biting off more than you can chew, and then chewing anyway. - Mark Burnett

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Cashews: The nuts you should hold out for if you're currently working for peanuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

I am currently unsupervised. I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless! - Unknown

Bob War: (Southern) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: 'Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Promoting self under the guise of promoting Christ is currently so common as to excite little notice. - A.W. Tozer

Individuality is either the mark of genius or the reverse. Mediocrity finds safety in standardization. - Frederick Crane

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

It's especially hard if the government is not providing services, or is even conducting ethnic cleansing against you. - Paul Harvey

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. - Unknown


Redneck Farmer

McDonalds in South America

Stealth Snake

Camouflage Pro

Beard Fashion

Playground Drivers

In Step Horse

Finger Olympics

Cow Licks

Dog Distress

Mate Attraction

Dark Room

Lineup For Dinner

Redneck Furnace

Traffic Sign Art

A Dog's Worst Nightmare

Garage Door Art

Kellogg's Fire

Teenage Independence

Parasite Trivia

Bobslide Event

Scooter Races

Bull Squirrel

Wife Consumption