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Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Grief is itself a medicine. - William Cowper

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Find a purpose to serve, not a lifestyle to live. - Criss Jami

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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