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Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid


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