Corona Bug

Corona-rary bypass - Archie Bunker

Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies. - P.J. O'Rourke

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown