Corona Bug

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Democracy breeds the germs of its own destruction. - V I Lenin

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster