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Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Confucius say: "Man who want pretty nurse, must be patient." - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

You can catch health, happiness, and success from others just as easily as you can catch worries, bitterness, and failure. - Dale Carnegie

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


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