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Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Find a purpose to serve, not a lifestyle to live. - Criss Jami

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My music isn't just music - it's medicine. - Unknown

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. - Pierre Pachet

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best way to reduce the cost of medical care is to reduce the illness. - Arlen Specter

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. - Mark Twain

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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