#1 humor site on the 'net

Disaster Preparation

Can never get enough for the panic room

Disaster Preparation thanks to Barry McCartney

Disaster Preparation thanks to Barry McCartney

Disaster Preparation thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Democracy breeds the germs of its own destruction. - V I Lenin

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Health is like money - we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. - Josh Billings

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler


Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter

Jarred Cat