Disciple Golf Day

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

You drive for show but putt for dough. - Bobby Locke

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

For those wounded by civilization, yoga is the most healing salve. - T. Guillemets

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business. - Joey Adams

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order. - John Burroughs

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

One of the quickest ways to meet new people is to pick up the wrong ball on a golf course. - Unknown

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump