Enlightened Thinker

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out. - Phyllis Diller

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. - James Keller

The mind once enlightened cannot again become dark. - Thomas Paine

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

He who would eat in Spain must bring his kitchen along. - German saying

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom. - Robert Millikan

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. - Louis L'Amour

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. - Kin Hubbard

Ladies and gentlemen are permitted to have friends in the kennel but not in the kitchen. - George Bernard Shaw

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Whenever I have a spare second, I'm in the kitchen whipping up a batch of cookies. I make a mean batch of chocolate chippers. - Karlie Kloss

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

When a poet digs himself into a hole, he doesn't climb out. He digs deeper, enjoys the scenery, and comes out the other side enlightened. - Criss Jami

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle