#1 humor site on the 'net

Florida Halloween

Best time of year for tornado cleanup

Florida Halloween thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees? - Robin Williams

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Time spent amongst trees is never wasted time. - Katrina Mayer

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

The Bunkers is going down to Florida as pre-deranged. - Archie Bunker

Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states. - Archie Bunker

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Rigid, the skeleton of habit alone upholds the human frame. - Virginia Woolf

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I moved to Florida because you don't have to shovel water. - James Randi

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. - Wilson Mizner

It is better to have ten skeletons in your closet, than walk with no bones. - Anthony Liccione

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

The world dies over and over again, but the skeleton always gets up and walks. - Henry Miller

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

You don't know that you'll ever have to talk about the skeleton in your closet. - Mark McGwire

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

While you were busy judging others you left your closet open and your skeletons fell out. - Unknown

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Smart people that like good health spend several hours outdoors daily in the shade of trees. - Steven Magee

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Of course there are no skeletons in my closet... I do however keep a tiny black box of souls in my sock drawer. - Unknown

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

The more work you put in on your outline and getting the skeleton of your story right, the easier the process is later. - Drew Goddard

There's a lot of skeletons in my closet, but I know what they're wearing. I'm not gonna act all ashamed of it. - Naomi Watts

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside


Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon

Maritime Treat

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Reflective Art

Canadian Drive-Thru

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Trunk Minions

Despicable Watermelon

New Parking Spot For Women

Popcorn Cremation

Time Is Free

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Happy 4th of July

Click Click Imaging Specialists

Awkward

Soldier Salute

You Turn

Australia 101 For Tourists

Horse Wood Sculpture

Changing Priorities Ahead