#1 humor site on the 'net

Florida Halloween

Best time of year for tornado cleanup

Florida Halloween thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Relief: What trees do in the spring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

The Bunkers is going down to Florida as pre-deranged. - Archie Bunker

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees. - Henry David Thoreau

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. - Wilson Mizner

It is better to have ten skeletons in your closet, than walk with no bones. - Anthony Liccione

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. - George Bernard Shaw

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

The world dies over and over again, but the skeleton always gets up and walks. - Henry Miller

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

If we surrendered to earth's intelligence, we could rise up rooted like trees. - Rainer M Rilke

My movies are usually about stripping off the makeup, getting down to the skeleton. - Michael Douglas

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

I spent most of my 20s with these alligator wrestlers in the swamps of South Florida. - Karen Russell

The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit. - Nelson Henderson

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

While you were busy judging others you left your closet open and your skeletons fell out. - Unknown

They went into my closets looking for skeletons, but thank God, all they found were shoes. - Imelda Marcos

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching me. - Haruki Murakami

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Kahlil Gibran

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. - Hal Borland

When you hide the bodies of the problems, that's how you eventually amass skeletons in your closet. - Faydra D. Fields

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

Three years ago I came to Florida without a nickel in my pocket. Now I've got a nickel in my pocket. - Groucho Marx

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Of course there are no skeletons in my closet... I do however keep a tiny black box of souls in my sock drawer. - Unknown

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

The more work you put in on your outline and getting the skeleton of your story right, the easier the process is later. - Drew Goddard

Everyone has a skeleton in their closet. The difference between Bill Clinton and myself is that he has a walk-in closet. - Pat Buchanan

There's a lot of skeletons in my closet, but I know what they're wearing. I'm not gonna act all ashamed of it. - Naomi Watts

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Fearlessness requires attention and receptivity - it takes focus to stand in the still eye of a tornado and not be swept away by it. - Susan Piver

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful. - Alice Walker

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek


Mask Alternatives

Watch Out For Deer!

Chinese Music School

Student Driver

iPad Not

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

It Even Has A Chimney

Seal Survival

www: Wagtail Windscreen Wiper

Water Dancer

Shopping Wait-er

Flamingo Imposter

Goat Tree

Ontario Spring Dining

Empty Birdhouse

180 Degrees From Ordinary

How To Float

Redneck Tank Top

Grasping Shirt

Detroit Counterfeit Bill

Hazardous Delivery

Log Out - Here It Comes!

Search and Rescue - Dry Run

Staff Teeth