#1 humor site on the 'net

Foot Swim

Ever been swimming and something touches your foot?

Foot Swim thanks to Maxine Bourne

QuotaBills
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

There is no education like adversity. - Benjamin Disraeli

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Concentration is a fine antidote to anxiety. - Jack Nicklaus

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Be willing to access joy in the face of adversity. - C.W. Metcalf

Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater. - William Hazlitt

I've never seen a monument erected to a pessimist. - Paul Harvey

Prosperity discovers vice, adversity discovers virtue. - Francis Bacon

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

Of all the things to worry about; the Wookie has no pants. - Mark Hamill

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records. - William A. Ward

The pessimist's epitaph: 'Just what I expected'. - Unknown

I try not to worry about things I can't do anything about. - Christopher Walken

Don't use your energy to worry. Use your energy to believe. - Unknown

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it. - Woodrow Wilson

A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures. - James E Faust

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist - except an old optimist. - Mark Twain

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. - Kin Hubbard

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Prosperity is no just scale; adversity is the only balance to weigh friends. - Plutarch

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

There is not enough time in life to worry about there being enough time in life. - Atticus

Boredom is a learned behavior and a form of anxiety that stems from our thinking. - Unknown

The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity. - Seneca

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

Remorse sleeps during prosperity but awakes bitter consciousness during adversity. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. - Jean Rostand

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. - Wayne Dyer

In times of prosperity friends will be plenty;
In time of adversity not one in twenty. - English Proverb

Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. - Robert G. Ingersoll

An optimist sees opportunity in every danger; the pessimist sees danger in every opportunity. - Winston Churchill

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles M. Schulz

Don't be disquieted in time of adversity. Be firm with dignity and self-reliant with vigor. - Chiang Kai-shek

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away. - John Steinbeck

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Teach your daughter to worry less about fitting into the glass slippers and more about shattering the glass ceilings. - Unknown

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

Adversity is the state in which man mostly easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then. - John Wooden

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

By adversity are wrought the greatest works of admiration, and all the fair examples of renown, out of distress and misery are grown. - Samuel Daniel

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight. The truly wise person is colorblind. - Albert Schweitzer

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster


Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt

UNinvolved

Plane Oops!

Manitoba Home Security System

Outdoor Pool

Working From Home