For Americans

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

I'm as single as a slice of American cheese. - Nick Cannon

We can get all the Indians we need at the reservoir. - Samuel Goldwyn

I'm Irish and Cherokee Indian. I can't faint. - Lynn Collins

I came along when the black American needed an image. - Jesse Owens

I pledge myself to a New Deal for the American people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

American freedom consists largely in talking nonsense. - Ed Howe

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

Americans love popcorn, and their love doesn't quit. - Rosecrans Baldwin

You can't have all chiefs; you gotta have Indians too. - American Proverb

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun. - Unknown

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

U.S. history - that's part of your whole American heresy. - Archie Bunker

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

The hyphen, that's the most un-American thing in the world. - Woodrow Wilson

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. - Homer Simpson

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy. - Miles Kington

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

The problem is that Americans care more about saving whales than saving males. - Warren Farrell

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. - George Bernard Shaw

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

When my friends and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker. - Robin Williams

That's what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped 'em out of Manhattan. - Archie Bunker

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love. - Margaret Atwood

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. - George Carlin

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

They're picking bananas in Brazil and them Indians down there, they don't care about what you look like. - Archie Bunker

Americans still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do. - Barack Obama

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

I have never had to face anything that could overwhelm the native optimism and stubborn perseverance I was blessed with. - Sonia Sotomayor

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

If Aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans. - Stephen Hawking