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For Americans

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For Americans thanks to Celia Barton

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A good chief gives, he does not take. - Mohawk Proverb

Specimen: An Italo-American astronaut - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

When good Americans die they go to Paris. - Oscar Wilde

American cheese is the perfect soft taco. - Wylie Dufresne

There are no American infidels in Baghdad. - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Canadians are Americans with no Disneyland. - Margaret Mahy

I'm as single as a slice of American cheese. - Nick Cannon

We can get all the Indians we need at the reservoir. - Samuel Goldwyn

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

I pledge myself to a New Deal for the American people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

The chief business of the American people is business. - Calvin Coolidge

You can't have all chiefs; you gotta have Indians too. - American Proverb

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The American Way of life, si! The American Way of death, no! - Archie Bunker

U.S. history - that's part of your whole American heresy. - Archie Bunker

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. - Homer Simpson

Irish Americans are no more Irish than Black Americans are Africans. - Bob Geldof

Vegetarian: an old Indian word for "doesn't hunt well." - Paul Harvey

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic. - Dan Rather

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

The most important question in American cinema is "When is lunch?" - Tommy Lee Jones

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public. - P.T. Barnum

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. - George Bernard Shaw

Patriotic American: One who never orders from a menu anything he can't pronounce - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn. - Ernest Hemingway

The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it. - George Carlin

That's what Columbus said to the Indians just before he gypped 'em out of Manhattan. - Archie Bunker

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

Few Indians only had breech cloths, most being wrapped in buffalo robes, otherwise quite naked. - Zebulon Pike

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Every American should have above average income, and my administration is going to see they get it. - Bill Clinton

As a child, I was subjected to a lot of spaghetti Westerns and hated them. I wanted the Indians to win. - Kara Walker

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

Americans should not go abroad to slay dragons they do not understand in the name of spreading democracy. - John Quincy Adams

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. - George Carlin

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

They're picking bananas in Brazil and them Indians down there, they don't care about what you look like. - Archie Bunker

Americans still believe in an America where anything's possible - they just don't think their leaders do. - Barack Obama

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. - Gore Vidal

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. - Gore Vidal

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

The only difference between a pigeon and the American farmer today is that a pigeon can still make a deposit on a John Deere. - Jim Hightower

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

If Aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans. - Stephen Hawking

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford


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