#1 humor site on the 'net

Gone To Market

Where this little piggy went...

Gone To Market thanks to Keith Blake

"This Little Piggy" by Mother Goose

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed home,
This little piggy had roast beef,
This little piggy had none.
This little piggy went... Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

QuotaBills
Pork is my friend. - Tom Douglas

Bacon is meat candy. - Unknown

Miss Piggy is a boar. - Ed Lucaire

Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Stork Market: Maternity ward - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - George Carlin

In Congress, it's all pork, all the time. - Jim Cooper

Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. - Hans Christian Andersen

You can never put too much pork in your mouth. - Lewis Black

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

Women in London must have learned not to breathe. - Irene Trimble

Emotions are your worst enemy in the stock market. - Don Hays

March came in like a lion and went out like a ham. - Frank Nugent

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

You want people to think you live in a pig's eye? - Archie Bunker

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Mmmm, pork chops and bacon... my two favorite animals. - Homer Simpson

When I was a kid everyone used to call me pork 'n. - Michael Biehn

History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot. - Mark Twain

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns) - Robert Byrne

Look a pig in its eyes, and understand the truth behind bacon. - Mango Wodzak

I have determined that there is no market for talking pictures. - Thomas Edison

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I'm such a foodie. If I see a pork chop, I'm eating it. - Josh Henderson

Day and night, their frail and crippled ships defy the tempest. - Jorge Luis Borges

I'm not a Jew. I'm Jewish. I don't go the whole hog. - Jonathan Miller

The market is a place set apart where men may deceive each other. - Anarchasis

Even apocalypse looks less dire when viewed over a plate of bacon. - Stephanie Stamm

Bacon is going to save the world. I don't know how but it will. - Unknown

I'm carrying so much pork, I'm beginning to get trichinosis. - Phil Gramm

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string. - Hugh Kingsmill

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

The meek shall inherit the world, but they'll never increase market share. - William G McGowan

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

If you don't know who you are, the stock market is an expensive place to find out. - George Goodman

Thank God I've got eyebrows like bacon, because I've always got egg on my face. - Jarod Kintz

Don't ever wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig will enjoy it. - Cale Yarborough

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence. Eat bacon. - Unknown

Before you create any more 'great content,' figure out how you are going to market it first. - Joe Pulizzi

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch? - Fry

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

This is what I grew up on in Alsace. It's choucroute. I'd wake up every morning with the smell of cabbage and potatoes and pork. - Jean-Georges Vongerichten

Edible: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. - Unknown

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets. We stretch puberty out a long, long time. - Toni Morrison

When you break down all the fluff, there are two ways to promote and market your business: dumber, slower, and expensive - or smarter, faster, and cheaper. - David S. Garland

There have been a few occurrences where people in restaurants have sent me a rasher of bacon, which I am not going to turn my nose up at. I never let them down. - Nick Offerman

Non-Muslims in Saudi Arabia can only celebrate Valentine's Day behind closed doors. Apparently, this has led to a huge black market for flowers and wrapping paper. - John Niven

To be successful and grow your business and revenues, you must match the way you market your products with the way your prospects learn about and shop for your products. - Brian Halligan

Breakfast is my specialty. I admit it's the easiest meal to cook, but I make everything with a twist, like lemon ricotta pancakes or bacon that's baked instead of fried. - Hugh Jackman

Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... - Homer Simpson

The salary of the chief executive of the large corporation is not a market award for achievement. It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual to himself. - John Kenneth Galbraith

There are good examples of companies - Coca-Cola is one - that invested before there was a huge market in countries, and I think that ended up playing out to their benefit for decades to come. - Mark Zuckerberg


2022 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

VW Snow Tractor

Math Riddle

Maiden Rock Illusion

Radioactive Games

Winter Bystander

Snow Good

Which One's Real?

Enough Art Supplies

Chinese Watermelon Sculptures

Sea Sand Art

Spot the Mistake

Image Challenge

Stroller Snow Tires

Is The Warming Still Global?

Snow Drifts Inside Your Car

Redneck Potter's Wheel

Winter Sucks

Chainsaw Art

Spot the Hidden Cell Tower

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Snow Is Coming

Spot The Clock

Gay Football