Halloween Parking

I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Parking is such street sorrow. - Herb Caen

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

Camelot: Parking area for humped animals - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Broom parking only; all others will be toad. - Unknown

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween pumpkins aglow.
Come see the show. - Unknown

Parking Lot Attendant: Professional fender bender - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. - Judy Gold

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

Vacuum Cleaner: 1. A sonic broom; 2. A broom with a stomach. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Studio 54 made Halloween in Hollywood look like a PTA meeting. - Lorna Luft

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. - Will Rogers

I love the spirit of Halloween and the energy that comes with it. - Katharine McPhee

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. - Steve Almond

A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. - Erma Bombeck

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

Off-Campus Parking: Ample extra parking usually found in an adjoining state - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I actually have a stash of wigs for Halloween. But only for that. Not to play dress-up. - Alexa Vega

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. - Bill Vaughan

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

Give me a guitar, give me a piano, give me a broom and string, I wouldn't get bored anywhere. - Keith Richards

Does your message end with one point like a sword, or does it end like a broom with a thousand straws? - Vance Havner

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today's world - an assigned parking space. - Gene Perret

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

We used to go around tipping outhouses over, or turning over corn shocks on Halloween. Anything to be mean. - Loretta Lynn

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

The farther we've gotten from the magic and mystery of our past, the more we've come to need Halloween. - Paula Guran

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

I was Ashallayn’darkmyr Tallyn, son of Mab, former prince of the Unseelie Court, and I was not afraid of a witch on a broom. - Julie Kagawa

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking. - Bill Vaughan

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I have a strict rule: I don't work on Halloween and I won't travel on Halloween. - Simon Sinek

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

All my life, I have been a celebrant of Halloween. For me, it is the most important day of the year, the turning point in the old pagan calendar. - John Burnside

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him. - Conan O'Brien

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright