Historical Marker

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

A good husband is healthy and absent. - Japanese Proverb

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

A long dispute means both parties are wrong. - Voltaire

You don't hear me gettin' historical. - Archie Bunker

Can you fix my husband? He says he's broke. - Unknown

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

It's a very good historical book about history. - Dan Quayle

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. - Joan Rivers

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Teetotaler: A golfer who only keeps track of drives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living. - Julius Boros

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

What a lover's heart knows let no man's brain dispute. - Aberjhani

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. - Will Rogers

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

Farmers: Men successful only if they sell their farms to golf clubs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You realize just how bad a golfer you are when you play with Freddie. - Donald Trump

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course? - Babe Ruth

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money. - Joey Adams

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

When a man retires his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

Research is the historical novelist's map, constraint, and purest energy. - Donald McCaig

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

Husband-hunting: A sport in which the animal that gets caught has to buy the license - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look. - Mia Farrow

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

Take care of your pennies and your dollars will take care of your widow's next husband. - American Proverb

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America. - Donald Trump

I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser. - Arnold Palmer

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

Hard work is the soundest investment. It provides a neat security for your widow's next husband. - Unknown

I carry a golf ball to put under my feet when they get tight, and a Ther-Band for general stretching. - Jessica Ennis-Hill

My husband and I have figured out a really good system about the housework: neither one of us does it. - Dottie Archibald

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. - Groucho Marx

Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can even call yourself a beginner. - Jerry Seinfeld

In wider spaces, people bearing historical grudges with each other were separated by the muting qualities of distance. - Tim Cope

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting. - Milton Berle

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

That's what the holidays are for - for one person to tell the stories and another to dispute them. Isn't that the Irish way? - Lara Flynn Boyle

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller