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How To Enforce Social Distancing

Wanting isolation from flatulent people

How To Enforce Social Distancing thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Stop and smell the roses. - Phoebe Moll

Each day has a color, a smell. - Chitra B. Divakaruni

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Deviled Eggs: What wicked chickens lay - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Perfume: Any smell that is used to drown a worse one. - Elbert Hubbard

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

He has diarrhoea of words and a constipation of ideas. - Unknown

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like. - Bill Murray

Put all your eggs in one basket, and then watch that basket. - Mark Twain

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. - Robert Byrne

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet. - William Shakespeare

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Rectitude: The formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Then what are you? An electronic Hannibal Lector? You can't eat my liver with fava beans through a modem, you know. - Dean Koontz

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. - Casablanca

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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