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How To Enforce Social Distancing

Wanting isolation from flatulent people

How To Enforce Social Distancing thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Each day has a color, a smell. - Chitra B. Divakaruni

Thank heavens it hath no smell. - George F. Handel

His impromptus smell of the lamp. - Pytheas

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

I left as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. - Billy Connolly

I love the smell of rain and growing things. - Serina Hernandez

I actually get quite sad when I smell bacon. - Jane Velez-Mitchell

You can't hatch chickens from fried eggs. - German Proverb

Them eggs over there are startin' to foment. - Archie Bunker

Epochodor: The smell of history found at museums - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best smell in the world is that man that you love. - Jennifer Aniston

Music can be made anywhere, is invisible and does not smell. - W H Auden

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. - Margaret Atwood

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs. - H L Mencken

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

You should never hesitate to trade your cow for a handful of magic beans. - Tom Robbins

I'll be down in the front row with a basket of last month's eggs. - WC Fields

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

If everything is good in the henhouse yous don't have to go out for eggs. - Archie Bunker

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon. - Brian P. Cleary

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. - Ben Hogan

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Then what are you? An electronic Hannibal Lector? You can't eat my liver with fava beans through a modem, you know. - Dean Koontz

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Real angels don't have gossamer white robes and cherubic skin. They have calloused hands and smell of the days' sweat. - Richard Evans

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. - Jared Padalecki

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke. - Jenny Eclair


Saying Pun

Redneck Blinds

Kid Disposal

Motorvation

Electric Football

Montgomery Ward 1934 Christmas Catalog

Halloween Lamp

Making Music Together

Back Asswards

Tent Peg Setup

Fang Treats

Model T Snowmobile

Skinny Puddy Tat

Redneck Cocktail

Drug Dog Search

Vice Grip Handles

Nouveau Riche

Triple Bypass Burger

Hyphenated Names

Indian Fish Pond

Lunch Anyone?

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Giraffe Lunch

Bathroom Celebration