Husband Quarantine

No noose is good noose. - Death Row Prisoner

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

This virus just breaks all the rules. - Thomas Scott

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. - Tracey Ullman

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

A halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose. - Dan McKinnon

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Onion Rings: Worn by vegetables when they get married - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

We can't predict what a virus we've never seen will do. - Marc Lipsitch

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

I will resist the urge to underestimate the complexity of knitting. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Most stress is caused by people who overestimate the importance of their problems. - Michael LeBoeuf

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either. - Elizabeth Zimmermann

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf