Husband Quarantine

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Humanity is just a virus with shoes. - Bill Hicks

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. - Tracey Ullman

Call no man unhappy until he is married. - Socrates

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

A halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose. - Dan McKinnon

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

Marriage is the harmony of God synchronizing two wills with the will of the Father. - Ravi Zacharias

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Virus is a Latin word used by doctors to mean 'your guess is as good as mine'. - Bob Hope

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Today couples live together until they learn to detest one another. Then they get married. - G K Chesterton

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland