Husband Quarantine

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Quarantine: When a youth locks himself in his bedroom for months at a time - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

Bachelors know more about women than married men. If they didn't they'd be married too. - H L Mencken

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored. - Cameron Esposito

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst