#1 humor site on the 'net

On Its Last Legs

Me too, chair, me too

On Its Last Legs thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Donut worry, be happy! - Unknown

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

People worry, and God smiles. - Hebrew Proverb

Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom. - Soren Kierkegaard

There is no education like adversity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Adversity introduces a man to himself. - Unknown

Worry is simply imagination gone awry. - Peter Alwinson

Adversity tests a man's true character. - Unknown

Give your stress wings and let it fly away. - Gerri Guillemets

The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down. - Romanian and Russian Proverb

Don't feel pity for the rider's hanging legs. - Greek Proverb

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Robert G. Allen

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

Adversity causes some men to break, others to break records. - William A. Ward

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

Love is something sent from heaven to worry the hell out of you. - Dolly Parton

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Friendship, of itself a holy tie, is made more sacred by adversity. - Charles C. Colton

Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. - Oscar Wilde

There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist - except an old optimist. - Mark Twain

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Pessimists are not boring. Pessimists are right. Pessimists are superfluous. - Elias Canetti

Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious. - Ruth Reichl

Prosperity is no just scale; adversity is the only balance to weigh friends. - Plutarch

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is not enough time in life to worry about there being enough time in life. - Atticus

The dead won't bother you. It's the living you've got to worry about. - John Wayne Gacy

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

Worry doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles... it empties today of its strength. - Mary Englelbreit

An Irishman can be worried by the consciousness that there is nothing to worry about. - Austin O'Malley

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. - George Bernard Shaw

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

In times of prosperity friends will be plenty;
In time of adversity not one in twenty. - English Proverb

Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater. - Albert Einstein

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. - Olin Miller

A man of character does not expect to be liked by everyone, nor does he worry about being liked by anyone. - Unknown

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. - Horace

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Competition can damage self-esteem, create anxiety, and lead to cheating and hurt feelings. But so can romantic love. - Mariah Burton Nelson

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger. - Lou Holtz

Hope itself is like a star - not to be seen in the sunshine of prosperity, and only to be discovered in the night of adversity. - Charles H Spurgeon

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Every pessimist who ever lived has been buried in an unmarked grave. Tomorrow has always been better than today, and it always will be. - Paul Harvey

It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees. - Terry Pratchett

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Amish Friends

Cow Nap

Ear Chip

Sleep With Us

Puppy Taco

Fresh Air Computing

Koalified

How Much Time Left

Expandable Equation

Devoted Husband

Statue of Libertea

Beaver Stretching

Social Media Explained

Famous Equations

Ain't Mowing the Lawn Anymore

Crocpox

Deer Me!

Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II