#1 humor site on the 'net

On Its Last Legs

Me too, chair, me too

On Its Last Legs thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Four legs good, two legs bad. - George Orwell

There is no education like adversity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Adversity introduces a man to himself. - Unknown

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow. - Swedish Proverb

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

The pessimist is half-licked before he starts. - Thomas A. Buckner

Men are creatures with two legs and eight hands. - Jayne Mansfield

The solar system has no anxiety about its reputation. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Prosperity discovers vice, adversity discovers virtue. - Francis Bacon

Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, Faith looks up. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fresh activity is the only means of overcoming adversity. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience. - Dilbert

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. - Lily Tomlin

If you want to know if your brain is flabby, feel your legs. - Bruce Barton

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

You'll never find a better sparring partner than adversity. - Walt Schmidt

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

The true test of leadership is how well you function in a crisis. - Brian Tracy

Put your trust in the Lord and go ahead. Worry gets you no place. - Roy Acuff

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Don't worry about your heart. It will last as long as you live. - WC Fields

When the situation is hopeless, there's nothing to worry about. - Edward Abbey

A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety. - Aesop

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. - Mark Twain

A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one. - Kin Hubbard

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money. - Johnny Cash

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. - Dale Carnegie

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. - Jonathan Katz

If you worry about yesterday's failures, then today's successes will be few. - Unknown

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

Yoga has a sly, clever way of short circuiting the mental patterns that cause anxiety. - Baxter Bell

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. - George Bernard Shaw

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice. - Wayne Dyer

In times of prosperity friends will be plenty;
In time of adversity not one in twenty. - English Proverb

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

Prosperity is not without many fears and distastes; adversity not without many comforts and hopes. - Francis Bacon

In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. - Unknown

Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act. - Howard Zinn

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sail. - John C Maxwell

Nothing is harder to direct than a man in prosperity; nothing more easily managed than one in adversity. - Plutarch

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Cabell

Even in the midst of life's adversity, struggle or strife, love's enduring presence remains steadfast. - Eleesha

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away. - John Steinbeck

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger. - Lou Holtz

Adversity is sometimes hard upon a man; but for one man who can stand prosperity, there are a hundred that will stand adversity. - Elvis Presley

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. - Arthur Golden

An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight. The truly wise person is colorblind. - Albert Schweitzer

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay


Paper Lunge

FireFox vs. Windows

'Pick Your Nose' Cup

Playing Mantis

XL Cup of Tea

Dogue

Geek Gravestone

Split Personality

Wine Day

Smirnoff Women

Front Bum

Wine Wheels

Cheese Crakers

The 'New' Economy

Floating Gazebo

Cordless Plumbing

USB Vacuum Cleaner

Men's Wedding Photos

Help For Dead Children

Canine Golf Caddy

Gas-Resistant Pram

Dubai Ski Hill

Cat Chess

Happy Periods