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Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Only a Redneck can become his own Grandpa!

Redneck Genealogy Lesson thanks to Jack Byrd

I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stephens

Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.

QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

The family is the nucleus of civilization. - William Durant

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Leading your family is a lot tougher than basketball. - Giannis Antetokounmpo

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

Family is not an important thing - it's everything. - Michael J. Fox

The presidency is temporary, but the family is permanent. - Yvonne de Gaulle

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. - Anthony Brandt

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. - Mother Teresa

Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours. - Homer Simpson

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

I believe in moderation. I work on genealogy only on days that end in 'y'. - Richard Thiesen

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

I only hope when I have my own family that every day I see a little more of my father in me. - Keith Urban

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

What is a family except memories? Haphazard and precious as the contents of a catchall drawer in the kitchen. - Joyce C Oates

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

My family didn't have a lot of money, and I'm grateful for that. Money is the longest route to happiness. - Evangeline Lilly

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended - and not to take a hint when a hint isn't intended. - Robert Frost

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie


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