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Redneck Genealogy Lesson

Only a Redneck can become his own Grandpa!

Redneck Genealogy Lesson thanks to Jack Byrd, Atlanta, Georgia

I'm My Own Grandpa - Ray Stephens

Many, many years ago when I was 23
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be;
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.

This made my Dad my son-in-law and really changed my life
And now my daughter was my mother ‘cause she was my father’s wife;
And to complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my Uncle, though it made me very sad…
For if he were my Uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who was of course my step-mother.

Father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run,
And he became my grandchild for he was my daughter’s son;
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too.

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, nearly drives me wild!
Because now I have become the strangest case you ever saw -
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I’m my own grandpa,
I’m my own grandpa,
It sounds funny I know
But it really is so, but
I’m my own grandpa.

QuotaBills
Friends are the family you choose. - Jennifer Aniston

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

He's breaking his grandpa's sacrolificat. - Archie Bunker

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. - Jerry Seinfeld

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

Dishtemper: What family members suffer from after dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. - WC Fields

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Making the family a top priority will invariably bring success. - Zig Ziglar

People should find happiness in the little things, like family. - Amanda Bynes

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important. - Jerry Seinfeld

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

Family Tree: The only tree whose branches seek the shelter of its roots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Passing Tone: Frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life. - Oscar Wilde

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

We are, in the comics, the last frontier of good, wholesome family humor and entertainment. - Bill Keane

Snaccident: Eating an entire pizza, box of chocolates, or family size bag of chips by mistake - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. - Alex Haley

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future. - Gail L. Buckley

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

I don't think he's gonna come Edith. He just ain't got none of that, waddya call, family unconscious. - Archie Bunker

Antelope: 1. Why Grandpa won't forgive Uncle; 2. Event involving two bugs who fall in love and run away together. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

Happiness is being content with what you have, living in freedom and liberty, having a good family life and good friends. - Divyanka Tripathi

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. - Jane Howard

It's a family that's loaded with grudges and passion. We come from a long line of robbers and highwaymen in Italy. - Nicolas Cage

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

The family should be a place where each new human being can have an early atmosphere conducive to the development of constructive creativity. - Edith Schaeffer

I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing. - Tim Allen

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


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