Slap Me Into Next Year

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

A riot is the language of the unheard. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. - Will Rogers

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. - Robert H Schuller

To play billiards well is a sign of ill-spent youth. - Charles Roupell

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides. - Rita Mae Brown

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

We must interpret a bad temper as a sign of inferiority. - Alfred Adler

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it. - Earl Wilson

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

If you're a good numbers person, you're a bad language person. - Frank Luntz

It's easy to make your choice when all the cards are on the table. - Barry Bennett

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

When a man falls into his anecdotage, it is a sign for him to retire from the world. - Benjamin Disraeli

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs. - W S Gilbert

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? - Albert Einstein

Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart. - Jose N Harris

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

The first man to use abusive language instead of his fists was the founder of civilization. - Sigmund Freud

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean. - Zach Galifianakis

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason. - Marya Mannes

Sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in. - Jane Austen

If the sign on your heart says, "WELCOME", the love will come pouring in from everywhere. - Susan Jeffers

Human language appears to be a unique phenomenon, without significant analogue in the animal world. - Noam Chomsky

Music is the language of the spirit. It opens the secret of life bringing peace, abolishing strife. - Kahlil Gibran

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I saw a sign: "Rest Area 25 Miles". That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired. - Steven Wright

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. - Woody Allen

Crying doesn't indicate that you are weak. Ever since you were born it's been a sign that you are alive. - Unknown

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Language, identity, place, home: these are all of a piece - just different elements of belonging and not-belonging. - Jhumpa Lahiri

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Science has not yet mastered prophecy. We predict too much for the next year and yet far too little for the next ten. - Neil A Armstrong

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

The protean nature of the computer is such that it can act like a machine or like a language to be shaped and exploited. - Alan Kay

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Abundance and vigor of automatic movements are desirable, and even a considerable degree of restlessness is a good sign in young children. - G Stanley Hall

Music is a language that doesn't speak in particular words. It speaks in emotions, and if it's in the bones, it's in the bones. - Keith Richards

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe