Tabasco Sanitizer

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Democracy breeds the germs of its own destruction. - V I Lenin

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

We go by the major vote, and if the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital. - Horace Mann

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin