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Tested Positive

Viral Doctor humour for Canadian Political adherents and TP hoarders

Tested Positive thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

Politics makes strange postmasters. - Kin Hubbard

Politics is the art of the possible. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

In politics nothing is contemptible. - Benjamin Disraeli

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

Focus: What Canadian politicians lack. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

IN GOD WE TRUST: All others we virus scan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

When coffee dreams, it dreams of chocolate. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. - Mark Twain

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

An honest politician is one who when he's bought stays bought. - Simon Cameron

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Tex Guinan

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

Idealism is the despot of thought, just as politics is the despot of will. - Mikhail Bakunin

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Ignorance is a virus. Once it starts spreading, it can only be cured by reason. - Neil Tyson

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

It's amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. - Donna A Favors

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

The single biggest threat to man's continued dominance on the planet is the virus. - Joshua Lederberg

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A half finished shawl left on the coffee table isn't a mess; it's an object of art. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Politics is for people who have a passion for changing life but lack a passion for living it. - Tom Robbins

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. - Nikita Khrushchev

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers. - Nikita Khruschev

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joe-k. - Will Rogers

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

Demagogue: A politician who can rock the boat and persuade everyone else that they're in a terrible storm - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

It is a win-win for the American people, an idea no conventional politician would have the guts to put forward. - Donald Trump

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness. - Aristotle

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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