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Tested Positive

Viral Doctor humour for Canadian Political adherents and TP hoarders

Tested Positive thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
That virus is a pussycat. - Peter Duesberg

Lawyers are natural politicians. - Clarence Darrow

Good government is good politics. - Richard J. Daley

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Politics is war by other measures. - Steve Bannon

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

Guns have only two enemies - rust and politicians. - Unknown

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun. - R Buckminster Fuller

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars. - William Westmoreland

Like toilet paper, laughter is in short supply these days. - Phil Callaway

Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time. - Maya Angelou

You can't get rich in politics unless you're a crook. - Harry S Truman

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. - Stephanie Piro

The sad duty of politics is to establish justice in a sinful world. - Reinhold Niebuhr

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I'd be honest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

A politician is a man who approaches every problem with an open mouth. - Adlai Stevenson

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face. - Clare Boothe Luce

Politics is a profession where the paths of glory lead but to the gravy. - Billy Boy Franklin

What would life be without coffee? But then, what is it even with coffee? - King Louis XV

Bad politicians are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote. - William E. Simon

Politics is the art of choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

No science is immune to the infection of politics and the corruption of power. - Jacob Bronowski

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

American Politics: A form of socialism for the rich, including the politicians. - Gregory Nunn

There are no crooked politicians in America. They've legalized their thievery. - Frank Dane

Politicians who complain about the media are like sailors who complain about the sea. - Enoch Powell

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election. - Earl Wilson

The indignation of politicians is NOT a good measure of the gravity of any situation. - Paul Harvey

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

Viral marketing is almost like finding love. You have to stop doing it to actually make it happen. - Tim Topham

I must study politics and war that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. - John Adams

The concept that vaccine-induced immunity is superior in any way to natural immunity is sheer nonsense. - Dr Steven Pelech

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive or a politician. - Marty Feldman

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

In politics it is necessary either to betray one's country or the electorate. I prefer to betray the electorate. - Charles de Gaulle

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

Physicians and politicians resemble one another in this respect, that some defend the constitution and others destroy it. - Unknown

I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Groucho Marx

When it comes to politics, I sit down on a sofa and grab some popcorn - or sometimes I crouch down in order not to get shot. - Sergey Galitsky

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

Understand the key factors in the math behind viral marketing, and use those to figure out what it takes to get viral growth. - David Skok

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Politicians get their power too late, and I think that he has inherited an impossible situation in which he is ill-equipped to deal. - Malcolm Muggeridge

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown

In politics, as in womanizing, failure is decisive. It sheds its retrospective gloom on earlier endeavor which at the time seemed full of promise. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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