#1 humor site on the 'net

Tree Root Church

Firmly founded in antiquity

Tree Root Church thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

The love of evil is the root of all money. - American Proverb

The deep roots never doubt spring will come. - Marty Rubin

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

The church is the great lost-and-found department. - Robert Short

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. - Rodney Dangerfield

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

For the man who prays in his heart, the whole world is a church. - Sylvain of Athos

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. - Soren Kierkegaard

Church is the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members. - William Temple

Someone told me I was immature. Guess who's not allowed in my tree house now? - Unknown

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. - Abraham Lincoln

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

Our ideas, like orange-plants, spread out in proportion to the size of the box which imprisons the roots. - Edward Bulwer Lytton

Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. - Billy Sunday

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. - Mark Twain

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

If art is to nourish the roots of our culture, society must set the artist free to follow his vision wherever it takes him. - John F Kennedy

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

People are so shocked when they find... out I am Protestant. I am Presbyterian. And I go to church, and I love God, and I love my church. - Donald Trump

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy

Little Shaver

T-Rex Breakthrough

Wise Moves

Braille in the Park

Hiker Boot Camp

Important Phone Call

Beauty of Mathematics

Deadly Facts About Water