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Urine Trouble Now, Mister

Who left the stove burners on?

Urine Trouble Now, Mister thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Don't judge a cat by its coat. - Magdalena VandenBerg

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

When the cat's away, the mice will play. - French Proverb

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. - Leo Dworkin

Igloo: 1. An icicle built for two; 2. An Alaskan toilet. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper. - Daphne Zuniga

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Hairball: When a cat throws up to the basketball hoop, and misses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper. - Rex Reed

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. - Mark Twain

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. - Stephen Fry

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction. - Mark Twain

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder. - Alfred Hitchcock

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

Always the cat remains a little beyond the limits we try to set for him in our blind folly. - Andre Norton

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing herself with me more than I with her. - Montaigne

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner


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