Wanting Women

Dull women have immaculate homes. - Unknown

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

He who looketh upon a woman loseth a fender. - Auto repair shop

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland

I like women, I don't understand them, but I like them. - Sean Connery

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

It is much easier to take care of a sackful of fleas than a woman. - German Proverb

High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. - Christopher Morley

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coquette: A woman without a heart, who makes a fool of a man who has no head - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most of the trouble in the world is caused by people wanting to be important. - T S Eliot

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

A woman's best love letters are always written to the man she is betraying. - Lawrence Durrell

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

An ugly woman is a disease of the stomach; a handsome woman a disease of the head. - Italian Proverb

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

I'm kind of honored to be a dragon lady. The dragon is a very powerful, mythical animal. - Yoko Ono

I believe in loyalty: I think when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick to it. - Eva Gabor

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner

First women subtract from their age, then they divide it, and then they extract its square root. - Unknown

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

We women know how to take care of everybody so well. But the one person we have written out of the equation is us. - Suze Orman

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Although you hadn't asked why, it had less to do with you not noticing than with you not wanting to hear the answer. - Jodi Picoult

I don't sit around thinking that I'd like to have another husband; only another man would make me think that way. - Lauren Bacall

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

I love writing for women. The willingness to go from laughter to tears in a moment is the greatest palette you can paint with as a writer. - Michael P King

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie