Wanting Women

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Jade: A semi-precious stone or a semi-precious woman - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. - Groucho Marx

My husband's idea of a good night out is a good night in. - Maureen Lipman

Why do men like intelligent women? Because opposites attract. - Kathy Lette

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

That woman is liable to come at you like a Doberman's Pincher. - Archie Bunker

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

She's the kind of woman who climbed the ladder of success - wrong by wrong. - Mae West

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. - Margaret Mead

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A man who moralizes is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralizes is usually plain. - Oscar Wilde

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you. - Groucho Marx

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. - Oscar Wilde

The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. - Jean Kerr

Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it. - Unknown

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force. - Dorothy L Sayers

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true. - Leonard Nimoy

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not. - Kurt Cobain

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man. - Alain

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

I was just so lucky with 'Real Women Have Curves.' At that point, I would have done an insurance commercial. I would have done anything. - America Ferrera

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com